elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
