Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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