We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
