so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
