I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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