Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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