Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Randomize
