Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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