So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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