is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
