Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
