these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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