butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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