Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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