I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
