Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
