Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
