Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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