Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
