Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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