GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
