Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
When are your genitals available?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
