Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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