Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
