she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize