the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
