We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Do vagina's smell?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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