when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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