peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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