So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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