Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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