Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
