blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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