Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
