Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm too high and old for this...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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