so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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