How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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