I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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