Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
