I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
