Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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