So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
