i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
