dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
