OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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