I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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