I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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