god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
