So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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