dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
