Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
