Whod you bang
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
