absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize